M203 Diary

Sunday, October 31, 2004


Day 1
Time: 0300 hours
Activity: Lying in bed. Staring at the ceiling.

Day 2
As day 1

Day 3
As day 2, which was as day 1, which was as annoying.

Its funny how I could get jet-lagged without sitting on a jet. Most afternoons, I felt like going home because I was almost falling over my standing feet, killing for some form of reprieve. Some afternoons, I WAS home, but that’s not the point. No matter how hard I tried, my mind was just too active to fall asleep.

What’s worse was the fact that I had to go to class the following day. At 8. Who the heck goes to college at 8? I mean apart from almost everybody else… It isn’t easy waking up with 3 hours of rest, looking forward to yet another day of complete misery. That’s when I tried staying awake just to spite myself.

Big mistake.

This was about 2 years ago, when I was supposed to go to college. Every bleedin’ day. I had this brilliant idea of staying awake one whole night. Then, the next night, I’d be so tired that I would finally catch some Z. It never hit me that I could fall asleep in class. Eventually, when I got back home so well rested, I would be staring at the ceiling yet again at 3 a.m.

Such days are a direct consequence of sheer stupidity and needless experimentation. Back then, I was young, naïve, and carefree. Rather disturbingly, this trend has manifested itself two years on. Now I’m just plain stupid. And stupid. As well as stupid. Not to mention stupid. Did I mention stupid?

In a weekend that has proven itself to be less productive than a running nose, I find myself cornered. On Saturday, I had MUET. While I have to embarrassingly admit that I usually enjoy tests that dare to question my command of the English language, it wasn’t quite the same this time around; I didn’t sleep the night before. At all. Clever me.

What was initially a great opportunity to catch up with my studying eventually turned out to be an orgy of slumber. I came to at about 10 p.m. on Saturday. I had slept for 7 hours. And I would be staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m. once more. Then I wake up Sunday afternoon feeling so refreshed that I don't sleep until Monday morning. If ever there was a more vicious cycle. Suddenly it all seems so clear; the sun feeds on my conscious! Then again, maybe not. I fall asleep in the lecture hall regardless of Mr Sol’s absence…

Is it normal for people to feel more alert at night? From a survey I conducted recently, 100% of the participants feel that it is! Yet having a sample size of 2 isn’t all that reassuring. Also you'll note, if you could be bothered, that all my posts are written and submitted at night. This is no coincidence.

Caryn’s favorite word: satiety


Friday, October 29, 2004


I've been asked to make this announcement but told NOT to say who did it. Heh heh... 'cos the person paiseh lah.

Anyway, an M203 forum has been set up. All M203-ians, please go register and you will be authorised. :) (Please use a nickname that we'll know ok?)


Thursday, October 28, 2004


I've changed the countdown counter because the previous script hasn't been loading. When the old script starts working again, please let me know and I'll change it back. Alternatively, someone who has access to the template can also change it.


Wednesday, October 27, 2004


Today at the mock OSCE, this among other things, occured:

Scenario: We were supposed to examine the legs of a patient who complains of pain on the left leg. We are supposed to start examining the right leg first, instead of the left leg. This is coz we have to check the normal leg first before the "abnormal" leg. Instead:

Dr.: Why did you examine the right leg first?

CW: Because it's nearer to me.



Tuesday, October 26, 2004

imu cup

This is something Caryn posted up on m203cg yahoo groups, that I feel has a message for all of us:

hi all.. i know that there's lots of ill feelings going around
regarding the whole imu cup and the way the sem 5s handled it..
personally, i'm really troubled too... coz these ppl are our
friends.. and it's just quite disturbing to see all these things
happening... i know that we're all basing this on heresay and
there's no proof, but even so, the case against them is pretty
strong... and it's hard to not be pissed about it... but then again,
bottomline is this... we're God's children.. we're called to forgive
others... to love our neighbours... i guess this email is as much a
reminder to myself as to all of u guys... as christians, often we
need to walk the straight, narrow path... not easy.... but we're
called to do so... maybe the rest of u all might not feel really bad
over the imu cup incident, but whenever i think about yi wei crying,
about the whole 50 to 10 marks thing, about the blood donation
drive, cheerleading results... welll... it's not nice la.. but that
aside.. i do honestly think that we did put up a good performance...
and i thank God for that... all the hard work.... it was worth it to
see the look on our batchmates' faces... coz afterall, we did it for
M203... for those not in cheerleading, i'm not sure if you're aware
that we nearly pulled out and boycotted the whole thing coz they
decided to switch to 10 marks... coz that would mean that even if we
won, we wouldn't be able to cover up the difference in marks bt sem
5 and us... anyhow, in the end.. we unanimously decided on
performing for our batchmates who were so supportive... so, guys,
gals.. THANKS for cheering us on.... and that was really for u


And to reiterate what Caryn said, all the tears, sweat (and blood, if there had been) was for all of you. It was an honour performing for you, and we hope we made you proud. For love of the batch!

"If you guys cheer us on, it's all worthwhile."
- KenJ, after consecutive ping-pong & futsal practice.


Monday, October 25, 2004

And that's that.

I flunked my mock OSCE.

CSU has always been 1 of my strong points (which, as bad as it is, makes me worry about the state of my SAQs and OSPEs). After innumerable lectures & PBL sessions of feeling like a total ninny, CSU restores hope that somehow, somewhere, I do have a prayer of graduating medical school. Heck, to echo Chik Ian, CSU is what makes me feel most like a doctor.

And of course, there's the fact I totally adore Dr. Tim.
(He doesn't read this blog, does he?)

So, I was pretty surprised that I wasn't more upset to learn that I'd scored 3.5 out of 10 for the physical examination. Or that I'd misdiagnosed the histories.

*Time-out for a face-saving move:
Most people put down the fact I'd flunked to my examining doctor, Dr. HA.

Still, if I'd been truly competent, I should have been able to withstand the forces of any lecturer. I was fortunate to have been among the first few to be examined. IMHO, I may've pushed him a little too much with my lame-&%@ answers, and basically, the next person just tipped him over the edge. (Sorry!)

With the result, the good doctor ended up screaming bloody murder at the rest of the people in my stream.

Then again, Dr. K was screaming bloody murder right from the start.

Dr. J sat there, watching, and smiled.
She thought, "I'm going to eat this child."

(Anyone recognise this verse? From Roald Dahl's "Little Red Riding Hood".)

But I digress.

I wasn't too upset because I knew that even if I'd read Talley's, read Davidson's, read the CSU manuals, read my extra CSU notes, and of course, accomplished all this reading by Sunday night - but didn't, thanks to a spinning headache - I still would've flunked.

The moral of the story?
Study, anyway.
And if you flunk, to quote Ken Lin, "It's just mock."
"Anyone up for futsal later?"


M203 Banner

If you notice, there's a new banner on the top right hand corner of this page. *grinz* Everyone, please give Elena a round of applause. :) Whoever wants the code can look for me, or just leave a comment to this post. Otherwise, you can actually download it, upload on photobucket or whatever image hosting site and link it to your own blog. :)


Sunday, October 24, 2004

“That is so cliché!” is so cliché!

A Great Writer Once Said “@#$%^&*!”…

It’s been far over 2 months now since my first post at this M203 blog. Strangely enough, I’m still here, writing. I could’ve sworn I had told myself otherwise then. That nobody but nobody would be interested in reading what I had to write. Apparently, I was wrong. Apparently, I’m a great writer! I would normally take pride in being a part of the elite of anything, but I question that I should qualify to hold such a coveted title. What constitutes a great writer? What does it take to become one?

First of all, it is imperative to note how cumbersome writing actually is, relative to other pseudo-impossibilities known to man (by man I mean singular, as in one man. And by one man I mean me.):

List of the Most Difficult Career Options Known to Man

1) Rocket Science (there’s that overused cliché, so it has to be tough)
2) Medicine (this is a given)
3) Writing for this blog
4) Wrapping your left arm around your neck posteriorly, followed by touching it to your left anterior superior iliac spine

111) Knitting
112) IT

Would you believe that dislocating your shoulder is easier than posting here as and whenever I will? Would you believe that doing so following a pre-arranged schedule could get you a job? Perhaps in the entertainment field, like in “Recorded Stupidity” or “Acrobatics Gone Horribly Wrong”. Regardless, just because there’s a limited job market doesn’t take away the fact that it’s a viable career choice. At any rate, it’s not as difficult to accomplish than you might think. That is to say, writing’s not that much harder. Come to think of it, medicine isn’t that much harder. Yeh. Right.

Personally, I think the defining factor lies in topic choice. You could have written a bland 156-page thesis based on research regarding the toxic effects of cologne on ants. Of the population of readers who frequent this page daily (count it: 5), you would possibly attract a grand total of 2. At least one of the 2 has dreams about invasion by giant ants from Jupiter. But, had you instead opted to write a 3-sentence statement about sex, you would have attracted 100% of the potential audience. Even if you happen to spell vagina wrong. Because we all have dreams about…

Anyway, that’s why I sometimes doubt myself to be as great as people suggest me to be. Maybe it’s just me, failing to acknowledge my ability simply because I lack the self-recognition to do so. Or maybe it’s just that the fact I am a good writer is superimposed by the fact that I am a poor blogger. When I read the blogs of (a select few) others, I marvel at the way they entwine their daily lives so intricately to their posts. Good bloggers (electronically) pen their lives to (electronic) paper. It isn’t easy to write about yourself AND make it interesting at the same time. For the simple reason that a huge majority of us lead a very boring, dull and monotonous lives. Chances are, this includes you as well.

Coming back to the question at hand; am I a great writer? I couldn’t care less really, as it acts primarily as a creative outlet for me. However, receiving responses to my work, to know that I have somehow drawn attention, stirred emotion or captured imagination, has been absolutely fulfilling. Such devotion inspires.

Even if it is only 5 people a day. *sigh*

Word of the day: vis-à-vis


Saturday, October 23, 2004

CSU & Art

We had an extra CSU session last Wednesday and poor KenJ was the simulated patient. Hmm...

Dr: Any of you have a felt tip pen?

KenJ: HUH? You gonna draw on me?

Dr: Ya

Us: LOL. No, we don't have felt tip pen.

Me: *evil grin* Got marker, can ah? Permanent one... I go get. Wait ah...

(When I got back)

Dr: Nevermind, we'll use the gel pen.

(The session proceeded on... Dr drew..drew..drew..)

Dr: Do you have another colour??

Me: *evil grin* Pink, orange, purple.. what do you want?

KenJ: You really like this ah?

Me: Heehee, how did you guess???

This, is my nice patient's abdomen...


Monday, October 18, 2004

In Shirt Tidal Hear

For once, I have no particular desire to write about anything in particular. This stems from the fact that the excitement derived from the IMU cup has finally dissipated, along with any of our hopes that we had a chance to actually win it. I for one am actually kinda cool with things, seeing as I have other matters arising to worry about now that the biggest annual sporting event in IMU is finally over. So I thought I’d blog about it.

There has been no day like today has been. An unfortunate mix of innocent joy coupled with a chilling sensation of impending doom. This Monday is special. With every passing moment, the day we are judged draws ever more closer. I’m talking about the Semester 3 Final Exam. And at my foolish whim, I indulged my fun-loving side without regard for my tomorrow. Just today, I keep telling myself. To make things worse, I’m loving every minute of it.

Eventually, I suffer when it should matter most. In course assessments are akin to a firing squad. I enter examination halls feeling like the (Commonwealth) village idiot. Its not like I can’t study, it’s just that I won’t. I have absolutely no intention of wasting my life away, rather more the opposite. I want to live life to the fullest possible. Ironic it seems, that I’m going to have to destroy it in order to do so, if I can’t.

I do understand that I’m not in university to enjoy myself. Yet it’s at times when I participate in unadulterated entertainment that I feel like I’m truly living life, as it should be. Free from binding obligation. Free from merciless torture. Free.

Is death an answer? Or is it a question? A question of when?

Incidentally, someone messaged me (albeit unintentionally) saying that her soul was empty. I thought she was unwittingly suggesting that her spirit was void. And if there’s one thing I learned from The Matrix (other than “sequels usually suck”), it’s that the body cannot live without the mind. Considering for a fact I know that the spirit is tied to the mind by virtue of it being an illusory entity, I thought she was going to take her own life!

I should have known better. Life is not so easily forfeit, especially if it is your own. Go ahead and experiment. Find a knife and gut yourself. Simple enough command. Easy to comprehend. Yet almost impossible to execute. I’ll even go as far as to say you were too lazy to even bother looking for a paper clip, much less the blade.

So no, my life doesn’t end today. What makes today special, apart from seeing people smile at me more frequently than ever for a collective, categorically unmentionable reason, is the dire warning that I might actually fail my final exam; a love letter from the dean, with a carbon copy to my dad. Needless to say, he (my dad, don’t know about the dean) was furious. In tandem with my arriving home late recently because of an uncharacteristic increase in birthdays frequency in this month of October, this event unsurprisingly stirred up some level of emotion. And I feel guilty. I really do.

Hence I am reduced to doing what everyone else does in this institution. Studying actually. If I want to remain, which I do, I’ll have to reorganize. Set my direction in check. Identify my goals. Obliterate any and all desire to have fun.

Maybe I should just stop blogging.

Word of the day: Dander


Monday, October 11, 2004

Not Erected?

This happened during the CSU per-rectum examination this morning...

A: It looks so...

B: Yeah, all you need now is a dildo

A: LOL Cut off the front and use that lah! (It was a male model)

B: No, cannot

A: ???

B: Not erected lah!

Everyone: *ROTFLOL*

Term of the day: Professional joke


Sunday, October 10, 2004


The IMU cup is held annually, and is generally regarded as the pinnacle of the sporting calendar for us IMU students. For a period of slightly over a month, students from all 5 medical semesters, as well as Pharmacy, get together to compete in various events in an attempt to bring glory to themselves… and their respective semesters, no less. It’s like the Olympics. Actually, it’s more like a scaled down version of the Olympics, because we only have 6 participating teams for each event. And there’s no female wrestling. Damn. Oh, wait a minute, there is! Only it’s called women’s 3on3 basketball these days though…

There is much to be gained from the IMU cup than mere trophies, medals and points. We exercise. We develop teamwork. We garner respect. We learn skills for life. Whatever the motivation, all these apply if, and only if, we actually enjoy ourselves. Personally, I’ve made new friends, I’ve spoken to people from my batch I’ve never previously spoken to, and I’ve revelled in the challenges presented to me by the events I entered. (Actively: chess [Joint 3rd], table tennis [Final!], football [Final!] and futsal)

Whilst it may be due to the fact that the events I chose to participate in were well managed and organized, I can honestly say that I have enjoyed myself. I sincerely hope I will continue to do so this forthcoming final week. I gradually understand that I can only speak for myself however, what with all the rising controversy which threatens to spiral out of control.

Over the course of this past week, what I have seen and heard defies the very spirit of camaraderie that the IMU cup is intended to imbue. But to reveal it here is to tell a tale of two sides from one perspective. And I only know so much. Sometimes it is better to leave stones unturned. Not to suggest that we should ignore or forget, rather that we redefine our priorities.

In essence, the actual cup itself (which you supposedly win for being the best team overall) is worthless. It is simply symbolic of the fact that coincidence was bound to fate. That one semester happens to have more active students, more abundant in talent than the next. Yet it chills to the core to see that the sweet scent of victory should superimpose over sportsmanship. That the bitter fury of defeat should precede rationale is equally saddening. All over shiny scrap that should only matter so much.

I mean, we already do so much senseless bickering during PBLs, why add water to spherocytes? It’s not like we don’t have enough problems to stress our lives over thrice. Before we throw our already teetering selves over the edge, we really ought to assess what’s immediately more important.

There is a lesson to be learned here; sometimes there really is an irreparable injustice that cannot be undone and that you can do nothing about, and that’s life for you. Perhaps the greatest folly is to mimic a mistake, regardless of whether it is in Vengeance’s name.

Soon our turn will come, and the greatest triumph would be to ensure that such does not transpire on our watch.

Word of the day: Redemption


Gastrointestinal System

One week into the world of oesophagus, stomach, duodenum, jejunum, ileum, colon, caecum, rectum, anal canal and the likes... Another week till the end of IMU cup. Everyone's been busy busy B-U-S-Y. Maybe that's why this place has been a little on the dead side. *sobz*

GI system also = change facci time. How do you guys find your new faccis? Anyone have extra long PBL sessions? Anyone have extra mini-lectures to attend? Share lah! (Then I can gloat over your misery)

Remedial lectures have also started a few weeks back, I've got no idea what the lectures ar elike because I don't have to attend and the lazy part of me doesn't like attending extra lectures. So, anyone wanna tell me what they're like ah?


Monday, October 04, 2004

A Case of Obscene Nasal Sounds

Personal Details
Name of Fool: kenJ
A/S/L: 20/M/PJ
Occupation: Student
Race/Religion: Chinese/Disillusioned Cultist
Marital Status: Single

Presenting Complaint
Yellow stuff exuding out of his nostril. Started yesterday.

History of Presenting Illness
Sore throat. Running nose. Fever. Headache. General fatigue and weakness. Cough w/ ’urine yellow’ sputum (If there are 100+ serotypes of the common cold why can’t some of them choose a nicer color? Like lavender or teal…). It’s been 5 days now. Has seen a doctor, who suggested sleeping instead of BLOGGING in the middle of the night/morning.

Past Medical History
Previous admission to hospital when he was 4. Apparently was playing ‘helicopter’ when he lost control of himself and spun into a monsoon drain. He acquired four stitches to his forehead and an avid reminder to avoid ‘landing’ near slippery surfaces. Once again proving that the practice of stupidity awards providence to the practice of medicine.

Family History
No member of his family has successfully fended of the contagion.

Social History
Played in IMU Cup football match in the rain. The idiot. Later proceeded to the girls’ futsal match where he shouted his throat dry. Subsequently had to study/pray to pass an exam, which he probably didn’t. Following the test, the dork stayed out late and walked in the rain. Again.

Main concern is that he cannot play table tennis later today.

Systemic Review
Aside from associated factors, also complains of blurness. Has expressed an increased desire to blow his nose off. Has coloured most of his hankies yellow. Describes the affliction as a ‘pain in the ass’, though this has no obvious correlation to any system directly, or any medical basis for that matter.

Provisional Diagnosis
He’s sick.


On My Shopping List: New Headphones.